Society: How to Cuss with Class *Explicit*


In Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing, a book from Oxford University Press, medieval literature expert Melissa Mohr traces humans’ use of naughty language back to Roman times. Mohr discusses the myriad social purposes swearing can serve, some nasty and some nice. “They definitely are the best words that you can use to insult people, because they are much better than other words at getting at people’s emotions,” she says. Swear words are also the best words to use if you hit your finger with a hammer, because they are cathartic, helping people deal with emotion as well as pain. And studies have shown that they help people bond — like blue-collar workers who use taboo terms to build in-group solidarity against management types. When asked if the world would be better off if everyone quit their cussing, Mohr answers with a four-letter word of her own: “Nope."

In Malaysia, cussing is still consider taboo among the community. While some of us cuss like a pro, others stand by and cup their hands over their shocked mouths after hearing those profane words. There are definitely many cuss words out there, the most common being notorious terms like f***, s**t, what the h**k, darn it and all. The culture of cussing have definitely grown throughout the years, it has become more than just a habit, it like a canvas to express yourself. Scientists say that curse terms are vital because they evolved to alleviate both physical and emotional pain. However, those words have start to lose their power since it has become ever so common for people, even kids, nowadays, to greet each other in form of cussing. I used to greet my friend by saying "Hey, how are you today?"; and the reply I got was "All f**ked up." Nevertheless, it is NOT WRONG to cuss and cussing is good for the body and mind, and here is how you should start to make the full use of curse words, level them up to the "classy" label, and have average polite people still feel comfortable with you.

#1. Use symbols @#%&%#$@ or mute sound "Bleep" if you want to cuss in your writing or talking.

The usage of symbols is helpful because readers can use their imaginations to fill the words up according to their personal standards. The sound "Tut" or "Bleep" or some hand gestures (I don't mean your middle finger!!) will also do the same trick.

#2. Do not use cuss word in every sentences like its an adjective, adverb, noun, verb etc. 

This f**king rain wet my f**king cloths that I hang outside this f**king morning and f**k my neighbours for not f**king tell me about it. Big NO NO!! It just sounds awfully wrong and unclassy. BE CREATIVE  or DON'T USE IT AT ALL!!

#3. Make use of other languages.

S**t can be translated to many different languages. Tawagoto (Japanese),Stront (Dutch), Merde (French) and more. You don't need to be a language pro for this one, all you need is a google translate. Its still best to use something people don't understand but still has the power to let you express your emotions. Find some that works for you. Chinese people always like to use idioms or phrase such as "You are like the maggot in my ear" or "You are like a fire on my butt". 


#4. Find those alternative words that are polite/acceptable in your society.

While there are a lot of sweary-sounding obscene cuss words, there are bound to be some terms that are more commonly used and more accepted. While most people thinks the word F**k is too much, S**t or Hell works OK for them. Or perhaps, instead of S**t, you can go for alternatives like SHOOT or POO, and COW is quite a good replacement for B*tch (but bear in mind, animals have rights too, so used them sparingly). If you like food, you might like cuss words replacements like "shiitake mushroom", "Bologna", "Cheese" and "Rice Cakes". Other like "Kowabunga", "Doggone", "Weenie" also works well.  Here are some by Agent Frey.

#5. Forget cuss. Sarcasm makes you look good and classy and its ten times stronger.

There is a borderline difference between cussing and sarcasm. Sarcasm is deemed stronger in my opinion because it shows intellect and is more polite, at least on the outside. Great for a strong insult and expressing emotions, I wouldn't say all sarcasm are mild, but I would definitely say that they are clever and classy. Instead of your regular "F**k off'", imagine using something like "Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you will find a brain back there", "I am impressed, that's why I clapped my hands", "May you live long enough to watch the world burn", "May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy", just to state a few examples. 

That's all from me. Signing off with love. Don' be NASTY, stay CLASSY.

Reference: Reader Digest August 2015 Issue, Unbelievable: True Tales from Asia: Cuss words for the Classy by Nury Vittachi (

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